Couple of month ago I posted this long status on Facebook:
Earlier this January I was reflecting on how my life went during the past few years, I realized that throughout these few years I lost almost all my support systems, people I rely on when in need.. Either because these people hurt me but I never said anything to them, and sometimes I never really understood the depth of the injury, or because their personal circumstances changed and they don’t have a place for me in their lives anymore, at least not the way it used to be.
At first I was not happy with this thought, I fought it for a while until I had to come to peace with it.The fact is. This is life. Nothing stays the way it is forever and I have to accept that. I always knew this fact and thought of it as the ultimate fact of life and nature, but never really let it in when it comes to people who are important to me, so I keep feeling frustrated and/or hurt every time it happens.As for me, the mere fact that I realized I already lost people is a big change in me.. I no longer tolerate bullshit or abuse of any kind just to comfort someone else. I no longer hang on to someone or something just out of habit. Now I can identify a change in someone when I see it, I don’t stand there confused, not knowing what is happening or why. I had to learn that the hard way, with a lot of sadness, a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, and a lot of scars. I also realized that I even spent years of my life meeting new people but never really letting them in just because deep down I was afraid of loosing them someday, or worse, having them hurting me.. But I finally mad the turn, and I like to think of it as maturity that came a little bit late, but better than never.“Some people come in your life as blessings, some come in your life as lessons.” I understand that now. But I have to add that not all people who come in to your life are here to stay. Actually, nobody is here to stay. I lost people and I will find others. People lost me and they will find others, and loose them again. Exceptions are possible, and it’s usually family that makes it, family might hurt you, but you can count on them to never let you go.Change is probably the only constant fact in life and in nature, this is how nature evolves, or else it’s “extinction”, and as creatures of nature we all change, we all evolve, it’s the impact that we make on each other’s lives during the brief time we spend together is what makes life what it is, it’s what makes us grow.. See, it’s not about meeting people and loosing them at all.. Look at the big picture, It’s about trying to be a blessing to someone (hopefully not a lesson!), being hurt -beyond repair- is just the way mother nature tells you, “this is it, end of line for this person in your life, lesson learned, time to move on”.. Think about it this way and maybe your heart will not break the next time, maybe my heart won’t.In life, I will always meet people and lose them.. We all come and go, either as blessings or as lessons.
And that is perfectly ok.
This status generated a wave of worries among my friends and family, I even had family members living half way across the globe calling to check on me and offering there full support no matter what the problem is (and that warmed my heart, I’m really beyond grateful).
My Facebook friends are not used to such statuses. Not that on Facebook I only talk about the good and neglect the bad, it’s just that I stopped posting about my life on Facebook in general for year now, so seeing that type of statuses was highly unusual for my friends and family who only get to see cute kitty posts on my timeline!
The thing is, I needed to speak up my mind and let people be prepared for what is coming next.
This status is especially important to me because it signals the beginning of “purging toxic relations” from my life, as part of my big de-cluttering life project I had started at the beginning of the year.
See, what I meant with this status, and the broken relationships I talked about were actually friendships that “went wrong”, people whom I thought were close friends and then turned out to be not exactly what I thought.. But for some reason everybody who read this status thought I was talking about a love affair! (because of the ‘broken heart’ part maybe?)
Anyway.. I made up my mind that some people don’t deserve staying in my life anymore, just as I’m sure that for some people I don’t deserve staying in theirs. And that’s ok.. We all change and sometimes changes takes us to opposite directions.
Re-read the post above and tell me what do you think?