I talked several weeks ago about the slump I found myself in, and not being able to carry on with my plans for 2017.. Now I think I know why I went onto this slump..
I think what really happened is that I lost my focus.. I kept piling up goals and tasks and so many things I needed to do all at once that at some point it became overwhelming, but it sneaked up on me that I could not see it or feel it like I usually do..
Sometimes you need to find yourself in distress in order to put things in perspective and figure out what is really important to you, or at least what you really want to do or need to do, even if the outcome of such actions is uncertain, but you NEED to take action. And this is exactly what happened last month.
I found myself in a distressful personal situation, it was not necessarily bad but it threatened to derail me from my track and stop the journey I decided to undertake to put my life in order, or at least change the journey altogether.
It was then when suddenly, as I was thinking about my situation that a strange idea came to me, but it was quite revealing: If this situation continues, 2 things that I wanted to do will never happen, to volunteer abroad, and to learn to play piano.
It was shocking for me to catch myself thinking this way. For one thing, the fact that these 2 things – out of all things I planned to do – jumped to my mind at a time of distress means that these 2 things are really important to me, that I am probably not willing to compromise for them.. And another thing, I thought “how come that such things that I looked at as minor details in my journey would be quite important to me to the extent that they are the only 2 I could think about!! How stupid is that!”
But when I came to think of it, it’s not that weird at all.. I consider volunteering abroad to be – for many reasons – a very important tool for me to decide on many things in my life. I will probably write more on that later. As for playing piano, this was my dream since as far as I can remember, and it NEVER went away, and I would hate to find such a dream fade away just because circumstances change! A dream that keeps coming to you no matter what happens, is a dream worth following, no matter how tiny and stupid you think it is. And this one kept coming to me since I was a child, so I believe it is worth following.
Eventually I decided to proceed with these 2 dreams of mine and give them priority over anything and everything else for now.
This incident taught me something that I’ll write about in another time. But the point I want to make here is that the slump was actually caused by my lose of focus. I immersed myself in so many details, I wanted to do everything at once, and put so many goals and so many things to do for each of the goals, most of them were minor and did not give me the sense of achievement I need to move on with my projects.. So at the end I lost track of the original important things, and without focus, without end goal in front of your eyes, it is very difficult to move forward..
Now that I know my 2 little stupid things to do I am able to pull myself out of this slump and start moving again.
Wish me luck!